Sharing Is Caring

Collectively, we humans know a lot of stuff. Too much stuff, in fact, for any one person to possibly hope to grasp in the course of a lifetime.

But, lucky for us, we share. We rely on the knowledge of others to allow us to move forward in our lives, unhindered. Most people don't know how a combustion engine works, but we drive happily along, free to contemplate other things.

We are literally surrounded by objects invented, created, and maintained by the expertise of a vague "them", but in "putting our heads together", we give each other the freedom and time required to delve deeply into whatever it is that interests us.

I've noticed the same thing happening in relationships.

It is only economical for my husband and I to pool our collective resources. I allow him to step in where my knowledge fails, and he does the same. In this way we are an efficient unit, pulling together.

But here's the downside: We're not forced to confront our weaknesses, and maybe some small aspects of our independent selves are lost.

A few days ago I drove down to my parents' cottage for a swim. It had been sunny and hot, but as I approached, I noticed threatening black clouds curdling over the West shoreline. A sharp wind was hurling the surf at the rocks and blowing ominous mists across the water. And there was the sailboat, completely off it's cradle, groaning and scraping against the sharp rocks of the groin.

I looked at the situation and immediately thought, "I need help." I turned to look at the empty cottage for backup, before it struck me that I was on my own. My first thought had been for my big, strong man, but it was with a sense of exhilaration that I took up the weight of responsibility and jumped into the water.

After a few moments of intense struggle, the boat was safely back in its mooring. I straightened up and felt a glimmer of pride. I had done it, on my own.

"Any woman can do anything," said my Grandma. (She was encouraging me not to worry, after reading my last blog post. "I'd never kill you," she added.)

But the strange paradox is that we can all 'do anything' only because we don't have to do everything. Others do some of it for us.

Reclaiming a small piece of my own self-sufficiency was an empowering experience. I remembered that I am capable and strong.

And yet, don't get the wrong impression. I don't mean to imply that we should be striving for stark independence. Aren't we sharing, communal, relational beings? Haven't you heard about prisoners being put in isolation? It's punishment.

It seems an inescapable fact: We belong to a web of interconnected yet separate lives. I've never met the person who invented my microwave oven, or the one who built it, packaged it, sold it, transported it, or wrote the commercial that made me buy it, but all of these people had some small part to play (for good or ill) in the thing that sits on top of my refrigerator, smelling slightly of cooked weiners.

Have you thought about your contribution lately?

What would you like to share?