How Rude

Yesterday, a friend and I were talking to a man who had recently attended a funeral. His eyes widened and he spoke passionately about it.

"Could you believe," he asked us, "That this Korean priest kept his HAT on during the whole burial?" He shook his head in disbelief, "I mean, show some respect!"

I listened as sympathetically as I could, but all I could picture was this man, standing at the graveside of a friend, witnessing the momentous passage of her human body into the earth that sustained her...seething about a hat.

It verged on the ridiculous.

"Maybe they don't take their hats off at burials in Korea," my friend suggested, timid in the face of his outrage.

It's amazing to think about the complexities and subtleties of the rules of etiquette that keep us all on an even keel. Most of these things are so ingrained in us that we don't even realize they're there until someone from a different culture points them out to us. Because, although globalization continues to make the world feel small, the rules of fair play are not universal.

Did you know, that in some parts of Asia it's considered rude to finish all the food offered to you? As rude as if you were to say "Well, that was an awfully small meal." In other parts of the world, not finishing everything on your plate would mean that the food wasn't up to your standards. And whatever you do, don't lean back at the end of a meal in Australia and announce to the table that you are "stuffed". If you do, expect some hearty congratulations, as they'll take this to mean that you're pregnant.

In China, a common greeting on the street is "Where are you going?" It is less of an actual question and more of a casual hello, but to someone from the West, it might be taken as curiosity verging on impertinence when asked by a stranger.

Public smooching on the streets of Paris? Go for it. Kissing in the streets of Cairo? You might get arrested.

Speaking of bad manners, Prime Minister Stephen Harpur was in the news this week:

He was attending a Catholic funeral, when the priest offered him the host. In a Catholic service, non-Catholics are not supposed to partake of communion, and the Prime Minister should not have taken the wafer.

But, take it he did. Then, most likely realizing his mistake, he put the host (to a Catholic, the very body of Christ) into his pocket. Not good.

Catholics everywhere threw back their heads and howled.

But my first thought is, what were his intentions?

Did the Prime Minister INTEND to disrespect every Catholic from here to the Vatican? I doubt it. For that matter, did the Korean priest MEAN to thumb his nose at the dead body of a 92 year-old woman? I'm thinking not.

Don't get me wrong, I think manners are very important. They are the key to showing every human soul that crosses our path the reverence and respect it deserves. But when someone makes a mistake, wouldn't it be good manners to give them the benefit of the doubt?