The Darkness Of The Tulgey Wood

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Originally uploaded by valeblos

Two nights ago I went for a walk on a large property my parents keep deep in the country. When we lived 'in town' as kids, this was where Mom and Dad would take us to go walking, to snowmobile, to pick apples and roast weinies over a campfire.

We called it Tulgey Wood after the Lewis Carol poem The Jabberwocky. I hadn't explored it in over a decade.

It was dusk, and the place was filled with the scent of lilacs and apple blossoms. A warm breeze blew over my face as I walked along and yet, I could not relax. I began to perceive a vague threat. As I walked further in and away from my car, my palms started to sweat, my heart to pound, and my mind became full of fear.

What was I afraid of, you ask?

The two things that haunt all my frightened imaginings: bears and bad men.

And I was conflicted because, as I clapped my hands and made noise to frighten off the bears, I also felt that I should be quiet so as to escape the notice of the bad men. Every black stump made my heart jump into my throat, and the distant sound of shelling at the tank range only added to the queasy uneasiness churning in my stomach.

Now, people are constantly saying that we should trust our intuition, but what about when our intuition devolves into paranoia?

I must admit that I see the good sense in recognizing the possible danger of my situation - far away from any help, in a wild landscape only faintly familiar, walking deeper in as the light began to fade - but by the end of my walk, the jingle of my own keys in my pocket was enough to make me jump, and my imagination was running wild with depictions of my imminent ruin. Intuition is a gift we should respect, but what about all those slasher movies still floating around in my grey matter? What influence do they have?

I laughed, re-reading Lewis Carol's poem. Maybe my dark imaginings were born in his words.

...And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The jabberwock with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came...